In My Head
by FlamingToads
Summary: What kind of songs go through your head through the day? Severus has one of those better days. Some songs may be more inappropriate than others. I'm being safe with the rating by the way.


**In My Head**

**I love random stories. They make everything better. Hope you enjoy dears.**

Severus had woken up this morning in not the greatest mood. A song popped into his head as he gotten out of bed. Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit.

_It's just one of those days  
When ya don't wanna wake up  
Everything is fucked, everybody sucks.  
You don't really know why  
But you wanna justify rippin' someone's head off  
No human contact  
And if you interact your life is on contract  
Your best bet is to stay away mother fucker!  
It's just one of those days!_

_  
It's all about the he says she says bullshit  
I think you better quit lettin' shit slip  
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip  
It's all about the he says she says bullshit  
I think you better quit talkin' that shit_

_It's just one of those days  
Feelin' like a freight train  
First one to complain  
Leaves with a blood stain  
Damn right I'm a maniac  
You better watch your back  
Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program  
And if you're stuck up  
You just lucked up  
Next in line to get fucked up  
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker!  
It's just one of those days!_

After taking a shower he worked a bit on few of essays that he wasn't able to grade the night before. He wished he didn't have any classes today but it was his job and he was good at it. He didn't want to be bothered by snot-noised brats but at least they feared him enough to not even breath to loudly.

_It's all about the he says she says bullshit.  
I think you better quit lettin shit slip  
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip  
It's all about the he says she says bullshit  
I think you better quit talkin that shit, punk  
So come and get it_

_I feel like shit  
My suggestion is to keep your distance  
Cuz right now I'm dangerous  
We've all felt like shit  
And been treated like shit  
All those motherfuckers, that want to step up_

_I hope ya know  
I pack a chainsaw  
I'll skin your ass raw  
And if my day keeps going this way  
I just might break something tonight_

_I pack a chainsaw  
I'll skin your ass raw  
And if my day keeps going this way  
I just might break something tonight_

_I pack a chainsaw  
I'll skin your ass raw  
And if my day keeps going this way  
I just might break your fuckin' face tonight_

_Give me something to break  
Give me somthing to break  
Just give me stuff to break  
How 'bout your fuckin' face?_

_I hope you know I pack a chainsaw, what? _

_A chainsaw, what?, a mutherfuckin' chainsaw, what?  
So come and get it_

_It's all about the he says she says bullshit.  
I think you better quit lettin shit slip  
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip  
It's all about the he says she says bullshit  
I think you better quit talkin that shit  
Punk, so come and get it_

He left his room and headed for breakfast. He rarely thought of songs and mixing them in his life. He could tell that today would not be a normal day. He walked into the Great Hall and sat in his normal seat.

After Albus said his good mornings the food appeared and everyone started to eat. He decided to eat some fabulous blueberry pancakes. Another song popped into his head. Yummy, Yummy, Yummy by Ohio Express.

_Yummy, Yummy, Yummy.  
I got lovein my tummy,  
_

_And I feel like a-lovin you:  
Love, you're such a sweet thing,  
Good enough to eatthing  
_

_And that's just a-what I'm gonna do.  
Ooh love, to hold ya,  
Ooh love, to kiss ya,  
Ooh love, I love it so.  
Ooh love, you're sweeter,  
Sweeter than sugar.  
Ooh love, I wont let you go._

They were so tasty it switched his mood from angry to somewhat happy. It's odd how blueberry pancakes can to that.

_Yummy, Yummy, Yummy,  
I got love in my tummy,  
And as silly as it may seem;  
The lovin' that you re giving,  
is what keeps me livin'  
And your love is like  
Peaches and cream.  
Kind-a like sugar,  
Kind-a like spices,  
Kind-a like, like what you do.  
Kind-a sounds funny.  
But love,honey  
Honey. I love you._

_Yummy, Yummy, Yummy,  
I. got love in my tummy,  
That your love can satisfy;  
Love, you're such a sweet thing,  
Good enough to eat thing  
And sweet thing, that ain't no lie.  
I love to hold ya,  
Oh love, to kiss ya,  
Ooh love, I love it so.  
Ooh love, you're sweeter,  
Sweeter than sugar.  
Ooh love, I wont let you go._

He thought of how that was a great song for this moment. Maybe today would be one of those better days.

He left a bit early to set up the classroom for today's brewing. He entered the dark, cold, moist room. He felt such at home. Well until the children came. The students filled the room sitting in their seats silently. He told them to turn to page 72 and get to work. There was silence as the students worked. A song formed in his head. It's Oh So Quiet by Bjork.

_It's, oh, so quiet  
It's, oh, so still  
You're all alone  
And so peaceful until..._

And that was the moment that Longbottom had somehow got his potion had blown up. He really didn't care. At least he hadn't got hurt this time.

_You fall in love  
Zing boom  
The sky up above  
Zing boom  
Is caving in  
Wow bam  
You've never been so nuts about a guy  
You wanna laugh you wanna cry  
You cross your heart and hope to die_

_til its over and then  
Its nice and quiet  
But soon again  
Starts another big riot_

_You blow a fuse  
Zing boom  
The devil cuts loose  
Zing boom  
So what's the use  
Wow bam  
Of falling in love_

_Its, oh, so quiet  
Its, oh, so still  
You're all alone  
And so peaceful until..._

_You ring the bell  
Bim bam  
You shout and you yell  
Hi ho ho  
You broke the spell  
Gee, this is swell you almost have a fit  
This guy is gorge and I got hit  
There's no mistake this is it_

_til its over and then  
Its nice and quiet  
But soon again  
Starts another big riot_

_You blow a fuse  
Zing boom  
The devil cuts loose  
Zing boom  
What's the use  
Wow bam  
Of falling in love_

_The sky caves in  
The devil cuts loose  
You blow blow blow blow your fuse  
When you've fallen in love_

_Ssshhhhh..._

Very random song he thought. Class was over he went to the staff room. Pomona and Filius was sitting close together and once again a song burst into his head. Secret lovers by Atlantic Starr.

_Here we are, just the two of us together  
Takin' this crazy chance to be all alone  
We both know that we should not be together  
'Cause if we're found out, it could mess up  
Both our happy homes_

_I hate to think about us all meetin' up together  
'Cause as soon as I look at you it will show on my face, yeah  
Then they'll know that we've been loving each other  
We can't let 'em know, no, no, no  
We can't leave a trace_

_Secret lovers, yeah, that's what we are  
We shouldn't be together  
But we can't let go, no, no  
'Cause we love each other so  
Ooh…ooh…_

_Sittin' at home, I do nothin' all day  
But I think about you and hope that you're okay  
Hopin' you'll call before anyone gets home  
I wait anxiously alone by the phone_

_How could something so wrong be so right  
I wish we didn't have to keep our love out of sight, yeah  
Livin' two lives just ain't easy at all  
But we gotta hang on in there or fall_

_Secret lovers, yeah, that's what we are  
Tryin' so hard to hide the way we feel  
'Cause we both belong to someone else  
But we can't let go  
'Cause what we feel is, oh, so real  
So real, so real_

_You and me, are we fair  
Is this cruel or do we care  
Can they tell what's in our minds  
Maybe they've had secret loves all of the time_

_In the middle of makin' love we notice the time  
We both get nervous 'cause it's way after nine_

_Even though we hate it, we know it's time that we go  
We gotta be careful so that no one will know _

Well it was the truth. They kept it secret but it was so easily seen that they were in love. Odd couple really. That's what set you back.

He looked out of the window and seen Rolanda Hooch parading down there trying to teach her students to balance. He noticed that her butt was rather large and thought of a song. Miss New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx and Ying Yang Twins.

_Booty, booty, booty, booty, _

_Booty, booty, booty, booty,_

_Booty, booty, booty, booty,  
Rockin' everywhere  
Rockin' everywhere_

_I found you MS NEW BOOTY  
Get it together and bring it back to me  
Hit the playas club for about month or 2  
Put his hand on it then see what he do _

_Put his hand on it then see what he do_

_  
Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight  
Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight_

_Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight_

_Girl I don't need you, but chu need me  
Take it off, let if flop, shake it freely  
And I don't tell stories, I let em tell theyself  
And you aint gotta sell sex, girl, it sells itself, Like nothing else  
Yeah I'm a country boy, but that big city bottom fill me up with joy  
Aint life grand [life's grand] livin up daddy  
Here go da whisper song, baby this is us ready?  
Put it on me enthusiastically, what ever it is that chu do, you do it admirably  
And I aint choose it, that thang chose me  
Its bubba and ying yang, all the way in this thang  
YO!_

_Booty, booty, booty, booty, _

_Booty, booty, booty, booty, _

_Booty, booty, booty, booty,_

_Rockin' everywhere_

_Rockin' everywhere_

_I found you MS NEW BOOTY  
Get it together and bring it back to me  
Hit the playas club for about month or 2  
Put his hand on it then see what he do _

_Put his hand on it then see what he do_

_Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight _

_Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight_

_Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight_

_Quarter to twelve and we just getting in  
Bubba gonna make ya spark wit da Ying Yang Twins  
Sippin on patron, blong blong blong  
Shawdy in a thong, whom whom whom  
Ass get da jiggling, MOTHER FUCKING WIGGLYING  
Get that thang shakin, like she frost bit shivering  
Ass be delivering, all type of flashes, cashes  
Got these hoes shaking that molasses  
SHHHHHH  
Let me whisper in your ear  
Get your self together go and buy so new care do  
Something with your hair den  
Hit da club, shake ya ass and da brothuhz gonna sho some love  
Do that move ya thing, just a minute ago  
I guarantee you'll make all da dough  
So gon do ya thing baby, work what chu got, to get what chu want  
I aint dat money, don't let it make u_

He stifled a chuckle as he saw one of her students stare at her butt. A Hufflepuff perhaps. At least he thought those were the colors of their robes. Oh well.

_Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere_

_Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere_

_Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere  
Rockin' everywhere Rockin' everywhere_

_I found you MS NEW BOOTY  
Get it together and bring it back to me  
Hit the playas club for about month or 2  
Put his hand on it then see what he do _

_Put his hand on it then see what he do  
Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight _

_Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight_

_Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight_

_hi there, how are things?  
I once was breast man now it seems  
Ever since I had the pleasure  
of getting you together, your chest is just whatever  
I found the buried treasured  
Yes ma'am, heres the plan  
Meet me over yonder ok- don't play  
Ill bring the whip whoop, you bring your cook book  
And ima fix that stuff up, everything is good good_

_Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere _

_Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere_

_Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere  
Rockin' everywhere _

_Rockin' everywhere_

_I found you MS NEW BOOTY  
Get it together and bring it back to me  
Hit the playas club for about month or 2  
Put his hand on it then see what he do _

_Put his hand on it then see what he do_

_Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight _

_Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight_

_Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight_

That's a good song he thought. And it was. But his wife would probably disapprove of it. His wife had a nice firm butt. Lockhart had interrupted his thoughts when he made his grand opening of saying "It's alright I'm here. I know I am the highlight of your day." That's when a song flashed in his head. Barbie Girl by Aqua.

_Hi Barbie  
Hi Ken!  
Do you wanna go for a ride?  
Sure Ken!  
Jump In..._

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly  
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,  
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"_

_(uu-oooh-u)_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

Really what man wore sparkling lip gloss and mascara. And what kind of a man would wear ruffles. Something was terribly wrong with him.

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)_

_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees  
Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,  
hit the town, fool around, let's go party  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)_

_Oh, I'm having so much fun!  
Well Barbie, we're just getting started  
Oh, I love you Ken!_

Severus smirked. That song was obviously made for him. But calling him gay always brought the thought of his dear friend Albus that led to another song. If you were gay by Avenue Q.

_Aah, an afternoon alone with  
My favorite book, "Broadway  
Musicals of the 1940s."  
No roommate to bother me.  
How could it get any better than this?_

_Oh,hi Rod!_

_Hi Nicky._

_Hey Rod, you'll never  
Guess what happened to  
Me on the subway this morning.  
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me_

_That's very interesting._

_He was being real friendly,  
And I think he was coming on to me.  
I think he might've thought I was gay!_

_Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?  
Why should I care?  
I don't care.  
What did you have for lunch today?_

_Oh, you don't have to get  
All defensive about it, Rod..._

_I'm NOT getting defensive!  
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?  
I'm trying to read._

_Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.  
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about._

_I don't want to talk about it,  
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!_

_Yeah, but..._

_OVER!!!_

Of course he would never burst into song. Albus would've of done something like that though.

_Well, okay, but just so you know  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
THAT'D BE OKAY.  
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,  
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.  
BECAUSE YOU SEE,  
IF IT WERE ME,  
I WOULD FEEL FREE  
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)_

_Nicky, please!  
I am trying to read....  
What?!_

_IF YOU WERE QUEER_

_Ah, Nicky!  
I'D STILL BE HERE,_

_Nicky, I'm trying to read this book._

_YEAR AFTER YEAR_

_Nicky!_

_BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR  
TO ME,_

_Argh!_

_AND I KNOW THAT YOU  
What?_

_WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,_

_I would?_

_IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,  
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,  
I'M GAY!"  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)  
I'M HAPPY  
JUST BEING WITH YOU._

_High Button Shoes, Pal Joey..._

_SO WHAT SHOULD IT  
MATTER TO ME  
WHAT YOU DO IN BED  
WITH GUYS?_

_Nicky, that's GROSS!_

_No it's not!  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!_

_I am not listening!_

_AND HERE I'D STAY,_

_La la la la la!_

_BUT I WOULDN'T GET  
IN YOUR WAY._

_Aaaah!_

_YOU CAN COUNT ON ME  
TO ALWAYS BE  
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,  
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,  
YOU WERE JUST BORN  
THAT WAY,  
AND, AS THEY SAY,  
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,  
YOU'RE GAY!_

_BUT I'M NOT GAY!_

_If you were gay._

_Argh!_

That was one of those odd songs that always came to mind. He wasn't such a fan of that song but it fit for the thought of Albus. He wondered if Albus was gay. He never asked because it seemed impolite. And he wouldn't want to upset Albus over a silly matter. Albus would still be the greatest wizard of all time even if he were gay.

He walked into the library. Dinner had passed and it was getting late and he want to hurry to get in bed at his normal schedule. He looked down the isles and smiled to see Minerva bent over picking up a book she had dropped. He past her and yet another song came to mind. Discovery Channel by Bloodhound Gang.

_Ha-ha, well now, we call this the act of mating  
But there are several other  
Very important differences  
Between human beings and animals  
That you should know about_

_I'd appreciate your input_

_Sweat baby, sweat baby  
Sex is a Texas drought  
Me and you do the kind of stuff  
That only Prince would sing about  
So put your hands down my pants  
And I bet you'll feel nuts  
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert  
And you're getting two thumbs up  
You've had enough of two-hand touch  
You want it rough, you're out of bounds  
I want you smothered, want you covered  
Like my Waffle House hashbrowns  
Comin' quicker than Fed Ex  
Never reach an apex  
Just like coca-cola stock  
You are inclined to make me rise an hour early  
Just like daylight savings time_

_Do it now_

_You and me baby we ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby we ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Gettin' horny now_

_Love, the kind you clean up  
With a mop and bucket  
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt  
Only God knows where we stuck it  
Hieroglyphics? Let me be pacific  
I wanna be down in your South Seas  
But I got this notion  
That the motion of your ocean means  
"Small Craft Advisory"  
So if I capsize on your thighs  
High tide B-5 you sunk my battleship  
Please turn me on  
I'm Mr. Coffee  
With an automatic drip  
So show me yours, I'll show you mine  
"Tool Time"  
You'll Lovett just like Lyle  
And then we'll do it doggy style  
So we can both watch "X-Files"_

He had once seen the discovery channel. Very educational he thought. Of course he had already done it like the animals. It's always fun to spice up things in the bedroom.

_Do it now_

_You and me baby we ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby we ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Gettin' horny now_

_You and me baby we ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby we ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it now  
You and me baby we ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby we ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Gettin' horny now_

It was inappropriate. He could admit that. He decided to go back to that particular isle. Minerva was still searching for who knows what. Severus stood behind Minerva and crept his hands on her hips. Which made her jump but she calmed straight away knowing his touch. Severus pulled her closer and kissed her neck making her quiver. Severus smiled to himself. It was always a pleasure to know he could still make his wife melt in his arms.

"How was your day darling?" Minerva asked turning around to face him.

"Very amusing. There were so many songs in my head today." He kissed his wife passionately. They returned to his chambers and I don't think I need to tell you the rest.

Today was just one of those better days.

**:D**


End file.
